Bouncing Czechs

Sorry, had to be done. You can't write a blog about the Czech Republic without a corny pun. Now we have got that out of the way,  on with the story. 

We were making good progress with our dodgy, strapped down roof. I'm actually thinking that the gaffer tape is increasing our fuel economy as there is no longer a howling gale screaming through the roof. Just need to work out how to retrieve the tea towel that is stuffed in the gap without removing the gaffer tape. 

We crossed the Czech border in the early afternoon and the sat nav started to encourage us off the main road. It led us through a small town then up a country road. As Jo directed us up a very rustic looking lane, i wasn't sure if it was the sat nav demonstrating a sense of humour or Jo having a lustful moment. Alas, it was the sat nav. As soon as we pulled over, we found a couple of Mowlams with similar issues.

Pretty soon we were joined by the Swanners in a rustic Windy convoy. We followed the mobster on a largely circular tour of local villages, a road construction site and some beautiful  forest.

Before I knew it we were back on the motorway, albeit heading back towards Germany. 10 miles further on, Steve led us off and back on the motorway this time in the correct direction. I drew the line when he tried to take us back off to do the rustic tour for a second time though. 

And so, at about 5pm we rolled in to Camping Zizkov. A compact, urban camp site close to central Prague. The beer was cold and under £1 a pint. I needed a shower but that cold, refreshing, stupidly cheap beer wouldn't let me. Everyone was ready to hit down by the time I had finished my third pint. 

Got to say, Prague is a beautiful city. The square and all the buildings around are lit up and are very photogenic. The bridge, the castle. Fantastic sights and well worth a visit. Shame almost that we were in and out within hours, but that is the nature of the event. It is providing a taster session of Europe.

It was a very warm, sweltering night in the van. Over 21 degrees according to my phone. By all accounts, that is a fair bit warmer than Weymouth by day at the moment. 

And so, following a fairly early get away, we are on the main road towards Brno. It's not the greatest of surfaces. We are being bounced around a fair bit. But, we are making good time as we progress ever further east. Another new country for me coming up in 200 miles or so. Poland. Auschwitz and Krakow beckon.  

The Unhinged Traveller

We were having a lazy start to the day. Lucas and his grandma had an afternoon flight from Hannover and Jo's friend Pam was kindly dropping them off but they didn't want to get to the airport too early. Other teams had got going as soon as the barrier opened at 7, but we were soaking up the early sunshine and drinking tea. 

I went to put the pop top down and heard some creaking noises. You come to expect it with the old girl. It was only when I went to secure the top buckles that I realised the roof was unaligned. A quick trip around to the hinge side revealed the problem. Rust. Two of the hinges had just rotted and were no longer attached to the van. 

Oh joy. I think we have problems. 

I scrabbled around in the van and used all my ingenuity to find a clothes line and gaffer tape. With Pam's assistance we tied the front down as best we could then she gaffer taped the front to stop the wind lifting it. I've got to say her army training has made her a great gaffer taper. 

So, the niggly problems have started for a few teams. The electrical issues for Team Newlywed and the fuel tank issues of Team Freedomscaping (I do prefer the name Team Mobile Brothel but Marc gets narky). 

So, we are back on the road heading to Prague. Just the two of us now. My main concern now is that if I don't get the roof fixed, I'll be forced to share a double bed with Eileen next week and Evil Kev the week after. My heart is sinking at the prospect. 

Goslar and the Broken Brothel

Well, that drive took us a little longer than we thought. The people who invented Google maps must all be driving Ferraris or similar. It is a little frustrating being on the German Autobahns and having to cruise along at 55mph. 

Hannover, of course, is the birthplace of Jezebel. After 32 years, she was returning home. Well, we drove past Hannover anyway. She didn't express any interest in popping in to visit relatives. 

It seems the Germans aren't great at diversions. Several times we came across roads closed, including a major motorway junction and were forced to go cross country. Finally at about 4pm we rolled in to Goslar. 

Well, what a beautiful place. Olde Worlde German town with gorgeous town square. Well worth a visit if you are ever in the area. 

Team 12, Mark and Sarah, reported the first proper breakdown of the trip. They were a fair way behind us, parked up on the side of the autobahn awaiting the AA to sort out some sort of fuel related issue. 

Bless her, Sarah had her first night under canvas last night. She survived. Just another 21 nights to try out this new experience to work out if she likes it or not. 

Team Newlywed have also had motoring issues. A short circuit has melted their battery it seems. 

We tipped up at the campsite around 6pm. It's a lot more rustic than last night and the long grass harbours a lot of midges and flies. Lots of trees and wildlife. Certainly hillier than Holland too. 

Gradually all the teams rolled in after a long day on the road. Team Lotus showed up to check in before returning to their hotel. Finally, at 8pm Sarah and Mark tipped up craving food and alcohol to eradicate the memories of a hard day. They have a concave fuel tank it seems and will need to stop for fuel every 100 miles or so. The ultra powerful fuel pump has sucked the tank out of shape, it seems. 

The Swedes also turned up at the camp site. They now have numbers and stickers for their currently characterless vehicle. Action packed Scandinavians to be added to the mix. Excellent. 

The Swannies are also in town it seems. After a long overnighter to catch up with the rest, Richard and his father (a last minute replacement) are in a hotel to recover. We'll link up with them in Prague. 

And so, with some light drizzle falling, we are huddled under the awning supping cider and coffee flavoured vodka, and discussing plans for tomorrow. Bring on Prague ! 

On our way

3 years of planning. An idea that originally started as a Tuk Tuk rally from the Middle East and ended up as the Windy 500. Finally coming to fruition. 

It had been unsurprisingly hectic in the days leading up to the leaving do. I had to make minor changes to just about all of my daily information sheets. Oh joy. 16 sheets for each day, 22 days in total. 

On top of this, the format I had used to write the daily sheets wasn't compatible with emails, so each one had to be copies over to email before they were ready. 

Hence, on the leaving day I found myself awake at 4, and dragging my sorry, exhausted carcass out of bed and down to Asda for paper to complete the route planning. By lunchtime it was done, with 5 hours to spare before I had to be at the leaving do. 

And so, with everything vital now completed, we headed down to the football stadium. Jezebel and Milly joined Ralph and his very recently vinyled Kia. Soon followed by Marc and Sarah in the pink brothel, the Nightmares in LaDiVa with her new, school designed murals. Team Lotus, John and Eddie complete with tuxedoes. Team Trauma with huge band of followers (or are they groupies ?)

Team Newlywed, as promised in full wedding garb, ribbons and the new addition, a cocktail cabinet. They had had an issue with their fan as they set off, but arrived in time. 

The Mowlam Mob were in 1930s black and white gangster gear and looking the part. Swannie with his black Lexus, The Swanners, Robin and Sam in Trigger,Team Chameleon in their stylishly graphiced Proton and finally, Doris the Morris bringing up the rear. 

Alas, Neil was trying to start his singing but the crowd were in the car park, checking out the fleet, taking photos and saying their goodbyes. 

I was in headless chicken mode, being interviewed by various members of the local paparazzi,meeting and greeting teams and selling them raffle tickets. 

I stood for a moment, looking out of the window at the line of decorated vehicles, the teams dressed up expectantly waiting for the off and a lump came to my throat. 3 years of work all culminating in this evening. Chuffed just didn't come close. Awed more like. 

Anyway, no time for such nonsense. I had to rush the band, rattle through the raffle prizes and announce the first destination. The party capital of Northern Europe. Amsterdam here we come. 

As the Speedway Snails played their last song, the bar emptied, engines roared in to life and teams scrambled aboard. 

I looked around the empty bar and realised I had done all I could. Time to go. I hadn't had a chance to even take a photo. 

Jezebel started first time with Jo behind the wheel. That was a relief, she had really been playing up recently. I leapt on as she drove past and soon we were on the open road towards Dover. 

Sleep didn't come easily, or at all for that matter. I was still buzzing from the last few hours. Needless to say, as soon as I took over driving in France fatigue hit me hard and we all slept soundly in a lay by near the Belgian border for an hour. 

And so, with the aid of Eileen's sat nav, we had a quick tour of an industrial estate on the outskirts of Amsterdam before finally locating Gaasper Camping in the rain. Most of the teams were there before us. Tired, relieved. Still buzzing from that send off. 

To Absent Friends

Whilst looking forward to Friday and an end to this seemingly unending planning, I thought I should just spare a moment of thought for those who nearly, but didn't quite, make the starting line. There have been a few, quite a few, who would have been great, or amusing, additions to the event.
To John Mallace and his collection of ancient motorbikes. Team Black Rat would have given us a different angle on the event. Outriders as we entered new towns and cities. But, alas it isn't to be this time.
To Russ and Liam. Two plus sized chaps who dreamed of squeezing together inside a Hona Acty van. I think, if they had managed to get in a Honda Acty, it would have taken a lot of us, with a large can opener, to get them out again.
To Chris and Gareth. They graced several of the early Windy 500 events, putting a fair bit of money behind the bar and in the charity coffers, even had a Mercedes Vito van bought and ready to go. Alas though it wasn't to be.
To Lee and Paul. The Doli Wallies. They rushed out and bought the Mustard Bomber, a vomit coloured Triumph Dolomite with white walled tyres, in need of some serious welding. Lives change, Lee became a parent, the Mustard Bomber moved on to find another owner with a sense of humour and a large wallet.
To the Motley Crew, Marie and Trevor. They had found a very bad car, a Daewoo Nexia . It turned out to be too bad for the Windy 500 and hence they won't be joining us at the starting line.
To Chris and Tom with their Bedford van. Having to pull out with barely 6 weeks to go due to excessive rust.
To Oz from the Kings Arms. Plenty of enthusiasm, plenty of generosity but alas work got in the way of the trip.
To Garry and his team. They still have the Mondeo I believe but lack of work prevented them coming.
To Big Phil. The Chief Nightmare himself. So sad that he won't be joining us, after all he put me through over the last 2 years or so.
So many people from all walks of life and there are so many more I could mention too. All will be finding alternative ways to amuse themselves over the next month. All will be missed.

Sudan. Not Tesco's. 

But, there is one other that I feel I should mention who should be there on the starting line. From my original bus crew I have Jo, Eileen the Negotiator and Evil Kev. Two others have jumped ship to set up on their own. The one other crew member I dearly wanted to be there was Bill Morris. Not only is he one of the nicest blokes you'll ever meet, easy going, hard working and sociable, he's also a bloody good mechanic. Saved our skins on countless occasions on the Dongola Highway in Sudan, on the Metema Road in Ethiopia, Wadi Halfa and Tesco's in Dorchester. Bill, you'll be sorely missed, and not just for your mechanical skills.

The Wobbly Awning

Life goes on I guess. I'm still working on Jezebel, with some assistance from Jim. The cupboard looks better with a shelf and a locking door. The roof now has a strut rather than a tool kit jammed in the hinge. I've been busy with velcro, gaffer tape and superglue. We have a functioning awning, albeit the poles are a bit wobbly. I may have to work on that.
We took in one final camping trip before the off. Sea Barn Farm, 2 miles down the road, but just what I needed (and others by the sound of it) a day of chilling out with a few drinks and some good food before the final push to the start line (God, that's a poor choice of phrase ).
Team Nightmare, as predicted, are leaving it until the last minute to get everything ready. They are still talking about graphics. Likewise Ralph and his Team Wessex Properties. Olly of Team Newlywed fame has some new stuff, but it's a secret apparently. Team LOTUS have managed a test drive to Coventry and they have survived and returned. Trigger is looking to become a media star with the Dorset Echo and Radio Solent are sniffing around for another volunteer for a live interview.
So, 4 days until the leaving do. 4 days of hard work, planning, sorting and packing. I want to get going now.

Great Expectations

It's strange how ideas pan out. My original idea back in 2007 was to complete the Mongol Rally, all 10,000 miles of it, in a Reliant Robin. That idea gradually morphed in to a trip by double decker bus to Ethiopia. In the same way, I'm pretty certain that back in 2010, as I sat waiting for an interview with a bank manager, thumbing through pictures of tuk tuks, maps of the Middle East and shipping information from India that I had no idea that the tuk tuk rally would morph quite as much as it did. I wonder what I would have done with the five brand spanking new tuk tuks I would have bought with the money the bank were strangely prepared to lend me. The fools. I must have been convincing I guess, but now, I'm not sure I'd get many takers for a road trip by tuk tuk from Egypt to England via Syria.
Anyway, we aren't going to Syria. I'm prepared to give this information out to those eager team members waiting to find out where we are going. Syria is a very nice country, the people are amazingly friendly, there are sights aplenty, but....it's not in Europe, so we aren't going.
The levels of excitement are increasing. So they should I guess with just 8 days to go. I've been packing (yes, packing ! Already !) I'm usually the sort who will throw a pair of pants and a toothbrush in a bag with two hours to go before my flight, but I've been trying to work out what we really need (barbeque, pickled eggs, sleeping bag, single malt whisky) and what we can do without (chair for the mother in law, glasses, shreddies). I think it's going fairly well so far.
I've been in contact with a few of the teams as they make their final preparations. Team Milly have now remembered to pack a working engine. Good idea. I also popped in to see Team Chameleon as they were applying graphics to the Proton. Richard and Mark are a father and son team. They were the first team to sign up, the first team to buy their vehicle, but strangely one of the last to get their graphics on (not THE last, eh, Ralph or the Nightmares ?). I won't spoil the surprise, but she is looking pretty classy. I was impressed. Definitely impressed in a different way to how I was when first seeing the 'pink monstrosity' of Team 12 or the graphics of the Mobster.
Mark is looking forward to the trip of a lifetime with his Dad. He knows there will be good times, tough times, pleasurable bits and sometimes hard work, but he is firmly expecting it to be an amazing experience.
Now this is where it gets nerve wracking from my perspective. People having great expectations. This isn't a week long package tour to Benidorm, this could well be (and hopefully will be) an experience that most will remember (fondly I hope) for the rest of their lives. We have a couple on their honeymoon, who should quite reasonably expect this trip to be the best holiday of their lives.
But, and this is the best part, it's not really me that's making this experience what it is. It's the teams themselves. I must admit, I've been blown away by the effort that many have been putting in to their vehicles. So many people originally thought of what was going to be the most sensible, reliable car to take, to make it around in one piece. But look what we have ended up with....an elderly Morris Minor, a rebuilt Lotus (not exactly famed for their reliability), ancient camper vans, a fibre glass limousine, an ambulance with over 400,000 miles on the clock and a sturdy oak table inside. Illuminated spice racks.  Lunatics, the lot of you.
I'm looking forward to next Friday for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm off work for a month. Secondly, I can't wait to see the vehicles in their finished states. Thirdly, I want to get on the open road. But mainly because, by Friday, if it hasn't been sorted it'll be too late to worry about it. Three years in the planning and we'll be off to see the continent.
See you at the start line boys and girls and don't forget your passports.

A Rustic Getaway

Cool but not very grown up.

We have blue lights and not the kind I am used to on vehicles. These are far more stylish. With some assistance from Lucas and despite a cut to my finger that meant I had to spend a lot of time wiping blood off my wiring and off the paintwork, together we managed to get some under vehicle lighting attached and functioning under the van. Now, if I do find myself having to examine the exhaust pipe in the dead of night I shall be able to without using up torch batteries.
Jo gave it a disparaging look. I'm sure she will see the practical advantages when I send her under the van to fix things.
I think it's fair to say I've done all of the major jobs on the van. I'm just adding those finishing touches that make all the difference. I'd never stoop to illuminated spice rack level, but I may be adding one or two additions which aren't strictly vital.
Less than 2 weeks to go and my list of things to do, ranging from absolutely vital to barely worthwhile is rapidly diminishing. It's a good feeling. So unlike the bus trip where it felt like mad panic for the last month or two. I'm busy but finding some time to make use of Jezebel. Strictly in the name of testing of course.
We used our membership of the Caravan and Camping Club this week. It's a membership with the same level of 'coolness' as the Women's Institute or a Morris Dancing troop. I won't be buying the t-shirt, but the discounts are good and it gets you in to a lot of sites that are strictly members only.

"Oi'm aaafter a tenner if yowz a member"

The site we found near Rodden said it was members only. A chap on a tractor with a curly mop of hair and more accent than language charged me a tenner. Considerably cheaper than Sea Barn Farm with it's manicured lawns and wonderful sea views. We could see why it was cheaper. There was a toilet block and as much knee high grass as you could eat. Peak camping season, Spring half-term week, and we were the only campers.

With a sharp knife, we finally levered off the giant limpet.

 It seems that Rodden hasn't quite caught up with modern technology. Whilst Sea Barn Farm offers WiFi, Rodden has no mobile phone signal. You need to wander a mile up the road to the technology hotspot called Langton Herring. They have a phone box and everything.
Food and drink just taste so much nicer when you are camping. Filling the van with barbeque smoke just doesn't matter. We only do it for the kids....

And so, how are the other teams faring ? On the whole it seems fairly well. The Mobile Brothel had a major water pump problem but have fixed their major water pump problem with a Vauxhall Vectra water pump and some assistance from the Mowlem Mob to beat the pump in to the right shape and size. Good inter team bonding there. Team Like a Sweed are the proud owners of a Peugeot. Anna has even broken the news to her mother on Facebook that she was off to see Europe in 2 weeks time. The Mowlam Mob have been 'parking in a tent' according to Lucas. You can see where he is coming from. Team L.O.T.U.S are white ! She is also road legal with an MOT apparently. LaDiVa has been for her service and graphics are due soon.
The unfortunate blot though on the progress of the teams is poor old Milly. Having survived a run to Switzerland and coped with the Alps, she has now been diagnosed with a serious cylinder head problem. Big cracks between the valves which had been causing her to overheat badly. A new head has been ordered and is on it's way though, so Cinderella will hopefully still make it to the ball on Friday 14th.