Yellow polka dot bikini

Cat has been singing about polka dot bikinis at breakfast. As she was last night as she fell out of the restaurant. It was apparently the only song that the band knew in English. They should have stuck to the good old Bulgarian folk music that had many of us up on the dance floor learning the moves. It's amazing how well and how quickly we managed to pick it up. You don't really need years of practice to be a great dancer. You just need plenty of Bulgarian red wine and an overinflated idea of how good you are. We certainly showed the locals how to do it. 

Now, I've promised not to reveal the identity of a certain Windy participant who may have done something a little foolish yesterday. So, I shall tell the tale without naming them to save any unnecessary embarrassment. 

This unknown person arrived in Ruse with his wife Sam and daughter Tasha. The passenger side window was down and refused to go up. In the rain he was forced to strip down the whole door to get to the electrics. He missed dinner as he tried in vain to find the problem over several hours before giving up and putting some plastic sheet over the window. He got a promise of assistance from the Newlyweds to help fix it the next day. In the mean time he Googled the issue to seek some advice. Turns out he had pressed the window lock button and it had locked the window. Trigger is fine now and the miscreant, whoever he or she was, is feeling a little silly. 

Another small boo boo was made by Ralph. He arrived at the Romania/Bulgaria border and was asked to produce his passport. This gave him a small problem. It was still in reception at the camp site in Brasov. Ralph and Dean have now seen a bit more of Romania than the rest of us and added a few more miles to their total driving distance. 

Poor old Milly is having some more problems. A couple of bolts securing the power steering unit have sheared. This morning she is being fixed in a local garage. Lucy and Jim will have to set off late and play catch up. 

Team Lotus, the Swannies, Team Swanners and even the newly christened Team Hire Car, Billy and Sam,managed to link up with the main group last night to enjoy the traditional Bulgarian fare. 

So, at the end of the night, we stayed at Hotel Anna Palace. A classy affair on the banks of the (not so) Blue Danube. With the air con on full blast, I reckon we got the room temperature down by nothing at all. I relied on more traditional methods of cooling, like sweating profusely all night. Nice. 

So, Happy Birthday Eileen and happy wedding anniversary to the Mowlams. We shall no doubt link up in down town Bansko for another Windy knees up. Well, we have to use the newly learnt Bulgarian dance steps before we move on to a fresh country tomorrow. 

Pants

I feel like I have let someone down. I was given some advice a few days ago and I haven't taken it. It was back in the campsite in Goslar in Germany. Just as we were saying our goodbyes, Lucas spoke to me. "Dad," he said, with a solemn look in his eye, "Dad", he said with an all knowing nod of his head, "Dad, you must change your pants every day". Such wisdom in a five year old. Such good, solid personal hygiene advice. But, how do you explain to someone of his age about the unwritten rules of when you are a man ? You never ask for directions (though Tom Toms are allowed as they are gadgets), when shopping for a barbeque you always buy three times as much meat as you actually need and finally, when wild camping, even if the opportunity presents itself, you do not change your pants. I'll do it in the next country. 

That next country happens to be Bulgaria and we are hurtling towards it at a rapid rate of knots. 

Morning up on the mountain was pleasantly cool and refreshing after the last week or so of very hot weather. The storm had wreaked some minor devastation. The barbeque was full of grey sludge and my sandals were soggy. 

I watched a bright red Ferrari set off down from the top at speed, screaming around the bends and accelerating hard on the short straights before it got held up behind a van. How I wished I could be driving that van. Bloody Ferrari drivers.  

I got Eileen out of bed and let him drive first. Poor Jezebel struggled up the damp grassy slope but with some excessive revving he managed to get her back on the road. The southern side of the pass is possibly not quite as stunning as the northern side, but still beautiful scenery. 

Still a lot of hard packed snow around despite the warm weather and last nights heavy rain. 

The winding, pitted road finally led us out at the dam at the southern end of Lake  Vidraru. I just managed to get some shots of Team Chameleon, Doris and Milly as they crossed the dam. 

Lunch 15 miles further in a small roadside restaurant showed the Top Gear influence around here. Apparently the team had a meal there in 2009 and their photos adorn the wall. 

And so, we are belting down the motorway towards Bucharest. It's a city I spent a dismal day in back in 1996 on a 12 hour stop over from Bangkok. I recall people looking at me strangely in my sandals, brightly coloured Thai baggies and vest top in the 4 degree heat. It seems to have warmed up a bit since 1996.

We shall be staying in Ruse tonight, just over the border in to Bulgaria and on the banks of the Danube. I would say Blue Danube, but I am reliably informed that it isn't. 

As for the other teams, most are ahead. The Lotus boys, the Swannies, Nightmares and Traumas are quite possibly there already and revelling in their fresh underwear. I shall just have to get another couple of hours worth out of mine. 

Top of the World

Alright, not strictly true, but it feels like it. What an amazing place to be staying tonight and to be blogging from. What an astounding day. If you have any interest at all in driving, I would thoroughly recommend coming to this place.

I am lying in the van. It is now raining hard but it's been dry and not really that cold all evening. There is snow on the ground in patches, despite it being late June. There was until recently some spectacular lightning down in the valley, but it is now up here. It's like a topical storm. Spectacular. No. Beyond that. I've never seen lightning quite like this. 

We are at the top of the Transfagarasan Highway in Romania. Top Gear voted this the best road in existence. It is a winding, twisting, snake of a road. The view down the valley just looks like a long string of spaghetti.

The Transfagarasan Highway

The drive up here took a while for us in Jezebel. Some teams took less time. Team Lotus for a start. They had apparently been up and down 3 times by the time I summited. John, by the time we got up, had a broad cheesy grin on his face. He had told me before that ever since he got his first Lotus as a teenager he had dreamed of driving one around Europe, especially to experience roads like this. All 3 of them had taken their turn to hoof it up and down the mountain. They had boiled it twice in the process. 

Mark of Team Chameleon had a similar silly grin. He said he had been dreaming about this road for some time. 

After admiring the view for a while and awaiting a few stragglers ( Team Trauma were fairly easy to spot in their bright yellow ambulance snaking up the hill)

we dropped a few hundred metres from the summit to a relatively flat bit of grass. Marc took Jezebel for a quick trip down and up the mountain and Craig took Olly down again.

Team Milly had experienced a snapped fan belt in Brasov and despite having a new one to hand, had struggled to get much assistance from the AA. Due to garages being shut over the three day weekend, they were informed that it might be Tuesday before they were fixed again. A nice chap from the RAC came to the rescue though and fixed it. They finally summited at about 8pm. By then the party was in full swing. Barbeques were going, snow had been gathered to chill beer and wine.

 As darkness fell, clouds rolled in and the wind picked up. This was when we were sat around a fire, watching the lightning below us.

Suddenly, at around 11pm, the weather called last orders and everyone scurried off to their accommodation.

Well, since having seen this road featured on Top Gear several years back, it's been an ambition to come here and drive it. But, to bring a group of 30+ to this road and to see them scale it in such a variety of weird and wonderful vehicles is just mind blowing. This experience has definitely been a highlight of the trip so far despite a number of fantastic sights as competition. 

So, in the morning, should I subject the poor old, long suffering Jezebel to yet another punishing hill climb from the bottom or do I just admire the stunning view in the early morning sunshine ? 

When in Rome....

Brasov, as we arrived by late evening, was a bit of a disappointment. It's a bit industrial with a large power plant and huge blue pipelines criss crossing the industrial estate. I must admit I was concerned that we may end up camping in the shadow of an incinerator or large factory. When we finally found Camping Darste though, it was a haven of tranquility. Pointy wooden huts and a decent looking camping ground. The team contemplated putting up tents, but then the heavens opened and lightening flashed around the sky, so we sat in the van and had a beer instead.
It was Holly's birthday. Mark, her husband, had perhaps foolishly put all of her presents on our van for safe keeping. It meant Holly had to wait until 8pm for her presents, which we had bolstered with a group Windy card and some flowers and a vase. They'll just have to gaffer tape the flowers to the dashboard for the rest of the journey.

It had been a long day of driving. I had two airport appointments. Firstly dropping Jo off at Debrecen Airport at 8-30. It's a very military looking airport. I walked Jo to the terminal building for our goodbyes. As I walked back to the van, I was wiping a small tear from my eye and some goat poo from my sandal. Now that wouldn't happen at Terminal 5 at Heathrow.
I was at this time the only insured driver on the van, so my driving duties extended to 5 hours as we crossed the border, avoided the speed trap that the Mobster had fallen foul of and hoofed it through the villages and tatty road system of western Romania.
The Romanian police held Steve up for 20 minutes for his driving faux pas. I was wondering if they were real Romany police officers, and if so, would the telling off he received be a gypsy's warning ? Anyway, the driving standards of the locals left a lot to be desired. They are very skilled at overtaking, or very lucky. As I was held up by a slow moving tanker, with traffic pouring past me, preventing me pulling out to go past it, I suffered the ultimate Windy 500 embarrassment. Team Red 5, Doris the 52 year old Morris, with Martin and Harvey grinning like two Cheshire cats, swooped past me and overtook. Oh God Jezebel, how would I live that one down tonight ?
The Lotus boys, Jedward, texted to say they were at Turgu Mures airport. We weren't yet, by a few hours. They managed to collect a third team member, link up with Eileen (guessing a white Lotus with Windy 500 stickers was a bit of a giveaway) and depart for Brasov well before we got there.
I got Eileen to drive soon after he joined us. After the luxury of a relatively modern car with decent brakes and the peaceful tranquility of London roads, Romanian driving in a 32 year old camper may have been a little surprising for him. Much crunching of gears and expressions of concern over braking distances.

He got us to Sighisohara ok though, where we met Team Milly and went to peruse the medieval town centre. This is one of the 15 or so birth places of Count Dracula if the Romanian tourist board have got their history correct. The tat shop owners will back up this fact.

Marc took over for the final leg, as I had now managed to put him on the insurance. Now, there is a man with experience of dodgy vans and dodgy brakes.
And so, to Camping Darste. They tempted us in to the local restaurant with the promise of 'local music'. Mmmm. The local 'Champagne' was also interesting.

23 of us sat down to celebrate Holly's birthday and to make plans for the following day. The Transfagarasan Highway. Described by Jeremy Clarkson as THE best road in the World. And we shall be camping wild.
The irony hasn't really struck any of the others yet. We are in Romania, famed as the origin of the Romany gypsy race. And today, our plan is to travel in a convoy of vehicles, find a place to pitch up by the roadside and make it our home for the night. When in Rome....

Come on Eileen

My wife is leaving me. Fear not, it's only a temporary thing. Although she would love to do more of the trip ( it's getting hard to lever her out of the drivers seat at times), young Lucas will be wanting his mum back at home. Luckily, we happen to be camping within a couple of miles of Debrecen airport, so we can throw Jo out before we continue.

It's currently 6am and beginning to warm up again. Team Red 5 are up and about. They were hoping to get an early start, Doris the Morris is finding the stifling heat to be a little wearing. Her fuel pump coughs and splutters when she has been stopped at traffic lights and they are aware that the Carpathian Mountains may be a little hilly. Alas though, Harvey has promised to cast an eye over another vehicle and after their 35 hour trip, I'm guessing Team Trauma won't be up at the crack of dawn. Amba apparently made it in to camp last night but then dumped a load of fluid from the power steering. This might prove to make driving a little harder, with a 3.5 tonne vehicle and a few twists and turns in the mountains. 

Team Supid have also run in to problems. Billy and Sam had decided to pop in at Switzerland on their way over (why ???? It's not exactly a direct route, UK to Switzerland to Hungary. It seems their Supra didn't appreciate being ragged for 2 solid days. They are currently holed up in a hotel in Linz, Austria awaiting a recovery firm to assess their vehicle, but it's looking like a blown gear box. They may have to consider plan B. 

Team Like A Sweed have fallen foul of the law in Slovakia. They accidentally drifted on to a motorway without a vignette and got pulled over. They were told to leave the country that day. They were planning on doing so anyway. 

Our day yesterday was a pleasant one. The drive through a rustic looking Slovakia was pleasant. 

Winding roads, huge swathes of greenery. Tress and fields with the odd lake. We made good progress to Dobsinska, only to link up with Milly and the Nightmares to find out the caves we were looking for we're 25 miles back the other way. We took in the hills and the scenery once more to find the Swannies, Mowlam Mob and Team Terras vehicles already in the car park. 

A 20 minute hill climb through the heat of late morning led us to the entrance. It was odd. An extremely hot day but every so often you would get a chilly blast of air swirling around your legs. 

From 30+ degrees outside, it seemed strange seeing a build up of ice around the cave entrance. Inside was a refreshing minus 2. 

Wow. What a stunning location. It's a World Heritage site and you could see why. 

Ice formations, stalagmites and stalagtites making amazing displays. 

We returned to the sweltering heat for lunch. 

Now I'm occasionally known to try something unusual on a menu. Jim and Jo however took this to a new level. Chicken stuffed with ham in cream with fruit. It was exactly how it was described. Squirty cream from an aerosol, small cocktail sticks with olives and strawberries on, all with chicken and ham. And chips. 

I did quite fancy the 'Cornish style pies'. Aren't they pasties ?

And so on to the camp site in Debrecen. The thermal spa was a disconcerting brown colour but it was a pleasant spot to chill out after a long drive. The Windy travelling community had formed up and had been enjoying the cheap draught lager and trying to converse with the completely non English speaking owner and her voluptuous daughter. 

Today we are off again. Could be a long one, especially for those of us with no power steering. Transylvania beckons after we tackle the Carpathian Mountains. Eileen arrives too, at the airport of Turgu Meres. Real name of Steve, but we have so many, he'll just have to be called by his nickname. 

Onward !

The Coming of the Traumas

Well, they are well on their way to link up with us in Hungary. Team Trauma, Ben, Mark, Darin and Roy in their converted Ambulance Amba have reported in from Nuremburg in Eastern Germany having survived a wild storm in France. They are expecting to see us around 5pm poolside  . I made contact as I wandered back from the Stalinist toilet facilities of the campsite. It was the Eastern Block. 

Team Supid, brothers Billy and Sam, have also begun their long journey. Strangely they are travelling to Hungary via Switzerland. 

The now defunct Team Mobile Brothel who have merged with the Jezebels arrived by hire car at 8pm to the camp site to be showered by offers of wine, sausages and cold Polish lager. They soon settled back in to the group after their traumatic 36 hours of being detached. 

The camp site, with spectacular views of the Tatras Mountains in the background, was only 12 euros. The drive to get here was also stunning. The chalet style buildings, strange little haystacks, farmers harvesting and cutting hay. Truly idyllic part of the world and yet again somewhere I'd love to spend more time exploring. 

Jo wouldn't let me drive on the relatively short hop from Krakow. I think she's keener on driving Jezebel than she makes out. 

At the campsite we found John and Eddie, the Lotus boys, or Jedward as they are now christened. They sound like they are enjoying the trip in a non camping sort of way. They link up with us when they feel like. 

Ralph and Dean of Team Terras and Richard and Mark of Team Chameleon had also made it and were enjoying some leathery sausages and clothes washing respectively. 

Team Red 5 were, as usual, last to roll in having visited the salt mines near Krakow before a leisurely Morris Minor paced drive through the mountains. 

Very oddly, Jo woke me up at 6-30. Naturally I flinched, knowing what she is like at that time of the morning, but she was just waking me up to show me the fantastic view of the mountains. Oh, and to make her a cup of tea. 

And so, we are off to Dobsinska Ice cave complete with our two new team members stuffed in the back of the van with the baggage. Another beautiful day beckons. 

Fresh Meat

Wednesday morning and we are just moving on from Krakow. We have been arguing which is better, Krakow or Prague. Personally I'd be happy to revisit either for a long weekend. Plenty to see at both and amazing architecture. 

Many of the group, including us Jezebels wanted to visit Auschwitz. It's odd turning up in these car parks and spotting familiar, brightly decorated vehicles. Seems the Nightmares, team Lotus and Team Wessex Properties were there already. 

It's a sobering place Auschwitz, as I'm sure you can imagine. The piles of clothes, specs and human hair began to give you some impression of the sheer numbers of people involved. Horrifying and deeply thought provoking. Chilling despite the blistering heat of the day. 

Camping Smok was the expected meeting point that evening. We arrived around 6 and found the Mobster already checked in. Better still, the Swannies, Peter and Richard were also there in a room above reception. Despite the fact they had been to Amsterdam, Goslar and Prague, this was the first time we had met since the leaving do. Richard had been let down by his co driver at the last minute, so grabbed his father, bundled him in to the car and whisked him off to see Europe. We'll see them again at the next destination I'm sure. 

Throughout the day I had been getting updates from our two missing teams. The Newlyweds with their new alternator were cock a hoop to be back in play. By cruising fast on the Autobahns and avoiding Czech Republic they made it to Camping Smok by evening to be met by a crate a cool Polish lager. 

Not such great news from the Mobile Brothel. It seems master cylinders for Bedford vans are a bit of a rarity in the Czech Republic. After roughing it for the night in the 3 star air conditioned hotel, Marc was reporting that it seemed likely to be the end of the road for the Brothel. So, Plan B. with their van being repatriated and with Jezebel having 2 spare seats, Team Jezebel shall have 2 stowaways from tomorrow. That double bed just got a bit cosier. Those jolly nice folk at the AA are providing a hire car for them to get to Poprad whilst the disgraced pink thing gets shipped home. 

Jezebel is now sporting a new yellow stripe of 'super deluxe' gaffer tape. Provided by Team Lotus to replace the standard black stuff that has been melting in the heat. It's good stuff apparently, it's what scuba divers use, I assume when they have problems with their camper van roofs. Jo even used some to gaffer tape her foot which has a sore patch from her sandals. 

And so a progress report from each team. 

Team 3. Just set off from Weymouth. Will see them tomorrow. 

Team 5. Slow, steady progress. Suspension in the Morris Minor is a bit low but she is coping. 

Team 6. Found a nice chap in Prague to fix their missing alternator bolt and fans. Kitchen functioning well. Got overtaken by disabled nun yesterday. 

Team 7. Hotelling their way across the continent. No issues reported. 

Team 12. Van returning home from Prague, Marc and Sarah joining Team Jezebel. 

Team 14. LaDiva still running well, a few sleeping issues due to James snoring. 

Team 19. Richard and Marc taking lots of photos. Minor issue on exhaust sorted with a hack saw this morning. 

Team 23. Mobster going well. Steve got dragged home by his ear after excessive socialising last night. 

Team 25. Wimped out by staying in a stupidly cheap hotel in Krakow last night. 

Team 27. Newlyweds back in the fold with rejuvenated Olly. Big grins all round. 

Team 31. Last seen cursing the idea of camping in Prague. They touch in occasionally but enjoying themselves. 

Team 38. Left fridge door ajar last night. Nice cool van but flat leisure battery today. New pair of sunglasses too. 

Team 41. The Swannies raving about Goslar, Prague and Krakow. Complaining of aching legs from walking on cobbles. 

Team 42. The action packed Swedes. Up early, do lots, drink beer at night. No vehicle issues reported. 

Team 46. Sucking much of Eastern Europe dry of fuel. Robin giggling like a schoolgirl at the prospect of the next destination. 

Team 48. Setting off this afternoon from Weymouth. 

So, as we approach Zakopane in the High Tatras mountains for a spot of lunch on our way to Poprad in Slovakia, all is well in the world of Jezebel.